‘Mayor’ Sliwa’s nine lives
I’m writing this at 2 a.m. Can’t sleep. The thought of Crapdammy running NYC makes me run to the john.
Which then brings me to sleazy Sliwa whose mouth is the only thing that works. He never had a real job. Managed what? Invented what? Created what? Sold what? Organized what? Advertised what? Ran what? Disseminated what? Built what? Manufactured what? Earned income from what?
Married more than once. Trouble paying child support. Home? He once ridiculed a millionaire mansion in Chappaqua. I can understand that because he’s lived in a one-room thing with 17 cats.
What’s he done? Accomplished? Nothing. Nada. Zero. He’s just a talker. An open empty throat. His earnings came from WABC radio’s John and Margo Catsimatidis, who live in New York, work in New York, raised their family in New York, pay taxes in New York and whom Sleazy has since now insulted for suggesting that to save this election he take his red beret from his unproductive head and stick it up his pink behind.
He’s in his 70s and done what? Roscoe the bedbug dog’s done more. He patrolled the subway. Good idea then. Also good for photos and p.r. about sleazy Sliwa which is all this egocentric failure wants.
Understand, he can’t do anything. Never even managed a gigantic one-bedroom house. Doesn’t have a summer home, weekend home or foreign home. Knows nothing besides kitty litter and how to wear that omni-stupid red beret for fear nobody will recognize him without it. Never ever invited to any A-1 gala. No president, chief of state, Boy Scout troop leader, Arab emir, garbage collector, nobody, no-how ever requested his opinion on problems municipal. And this is what’s running to lead the richest, greatest, toughest No. 1 city in the world?
This city houses Spike Lee, Robert De Niro, Taylor Swift, Sarah Jessica, Daniel Radcliffe, Denzel Washington, Hugh Jackman, Alec Baldwin, Justin Timberlake, Donald Trump, Adam Driver, Jerry Seinfeld, Jamie Dimon some partridge in a pear tree, etc., etc., and they’ll all hearken to an unemployed nothing wearing a red wool hat and holding an alley cat?!
So VIP important and valuable to the City of New York that I last saw him inhaling free candy from WABC’s goodie shelves. His open mouth only closed over peanuts, M&Ms and pretzels that he himself didn’t spend to buy. And this is what anyone can vote for in a city that has Rock Center, St. Patrick’s, the Statue of Liberty, Bronx Zoo, Central Park, Greenwich Village, Chinatown, Freedom Tower, MoMA, Broadway, best steaks, best cheesecake, best bagels, best franks, Fifth Avenue, Financial Center, Botanical Center, Park Avenue, the Met, Coney Island?
Running New York City is what this nonsolvent unemployed red beret BS-er with his cats is what he thinks he can do? Besides ripping that dirty old hat off? You looking to vote for him? And a blessing on your head, mazel tov, mazel tov. Listen, I hear this candidate was in Atlantic City recently — and he so far lost his car, his watch and his money. Also his ability to win the mayoralty.
Meanwhile, as the world is going to hell — while POTUS is directing the world — someone in a Donald Trump blue suit, white shirt and red tie with a Donald mask is right now, just at this minute — directly across from Trump Tower — forget Russia, Ukraine, China, Taiwan, Iran, Venezuela, some unemployed other nobody cat lover in a one-room apartment voting for possibly Sliwa or Crapdami is actually standing right smack in the middle of Fifth Avenue directing traffic as cars are whizzing by. Are we not a great city — or what?!
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.